Every time you prohibit something your child gets desperate, screams and does the whim? Do not go along with it otherwise it will have you by the hand…
It seems very strange to speak of tantrums when we think of small kids. Being parents we all think that we have done everything to teach our children that it is not nice to get angry and become violent but still, we find ourselves raising the question; ‘Why are our kids so aggressive and why do they throw so many tantrums?’
Tantrums are actually the typical example of the disruptive behavior that parents often suffer from their children. Temper tantrums are sudden, unplanned outbursts of anger due to situations like dressing, the delay in feeding, turning off the light, closing a door, not fulfilling any of their demands etc. When experiencing tantrums, children tend to vent all forms of anger like crying, screaming, pinching, throwing objects, biting, hitting the walls or assaulting the other and so on.
A tantrum is simply the manifestation of a crafty child and it lasts in children for about 30 seconds to 2 minutes. But, if it continues can endanger him and others as well. Normally, kids aged 1-4 years are more exposed to this behavior because the child is simply trying with all the weapons he has at his disposal, that is to enervate mum and dad, to impose his will. And it’s a natural thing at their age, even the adults have experienced this explosion of anger.
The Reasons and the Solutions
Parents are often annoyed because of their children’s’ occasional bad behavior including screaming, hitting, biting and so on but this is not their own fault, rather their parenting style is to blame. There are some triggers causing temper tantrums and other miss attempted behaviors of children. Among them are:
- Kids always find fun in everything and sometimes they make parents their source of joy but parents who are impatient scold them thus causing irritation and anger in children.
- It is common for children to experiment with biting as part of their development and they enjoy biting their siblings and friends in school.
- Too much scolding and dictating of parents craft angry kids who usually attempt screaming and biting to overcome their aggression.
- The failure sense triggers frustration thus explodes anger. It happens when a child has curiosity and a strong will to do something, but often his ability is not as strong as his will. Thus leaving them upset and leading to frustration expressed angrily.
- When children are tired they become irritable and heavy activity or little playtime can quickly generate anger and emotionless.
- Inheritance is another factor because some children are poignant by birth and tend to be impatient, irascible even for little things.
- When kids’ desire is banned with the word “NO” from parents, they become impatient and cannot master their emotions logically; they choose to express them through anger.
- The big mistake parents often make is to persuade the children with the lure. Like, cry a little, child coaxed with ice cream or toys thus developing a pattern for them to demand anything and once they recognize the pattern they cry and rage if the desire is not fulfilled immediately.
How to deal with temper tantrums
Now the question arises ; how to deal with kids while they create these tantrums.
Every child knows his power tools to weaken their parents and to impose their will. To overcome this situation following few steps should be very helpful for parents
Find the cause
“Identifying the cause often allows parents to solve the real problem before a full-blown tantrum erupts.” Try to find out what they are actually trying to communicate to you through their biting or rampaging and respond with understanding.
Do Not Hit
Typically, parents will go along with emotions when their child goes berserk and begins to hit, pinch etc. Is that a solution? No! Children will not learn to cope with their anger, but instead increasingly assume their parents are evil.
Reward positive behavior
Often children want parents’ attention while creating a tantrum. To cope with this situation, leave the room rather than rewarding them with attention every time.
Never accept all the desired things at once. Being ignorant of their anger is actually a very telling way to let them know that their anger cannot buy their desires. Teach your children how to get their desires fulfilled in a good way, not with tantrums, cries or even rolling.
Teach them a sense of control
Options are the best way to control the situation and can avoid a tantrum of principle. So give your kids different related options for the situation they are expressing their anger.
Control Biting kids
The parent or adult reaction is important to help the learning process. Responding with a loud cry of surprise instead of blaming or giving a lecture to the child helps them to realize that biting hurts.
Prepare for the change
Parents know how to better their kids and how to comfort them. They know how to train their children for transformation. Try to prepare them for change in their own favor.
Use the Positive words
Attain the positive sense of your words while talking to your kids. For example, instead of saying, “do not eat with your mouth open,” you should say: “We eat with our mouths closed. Please finish eating before talking. ”
Make the tasks entertaining
Kids run and cry when they are asked for some special tasks. Songs, stories, and games can be used to start a specific task, establish a routine and do boring activities such as bathing or having fun at bedtime!
Teach them the consequences
When young children give, bite or throw during a tantrum, they do not always understand that their behavior harms the other person. Teach them the extent of their actions and their consequences politely.
Parents need to educate themselves if they do not know how to deal with these kinds of tantrums. Get knowledge for an extensive and exciting motor learning and perceptual development that encourages the joy of movement, play, and exercise in infants, toddlers and young children.
In A Nut Shell
The aggressive and disruptive behavior of children lasts for the initial 1-4 years but as the children enter the age of 5, they begin their schooling and peer to peer contact. This helps overcome their emotional turmoil. Till this time, parents must show patience and special attention to their kids.