Avoid Raising an Entitled and Rude Child, it will Harm Them in Future
Though love your kids is a great but to develop an entitle identity is a big brat for all.
“Throughout the ages, rich and famous parents have tried all sorts of strategies to avoid spoiling their kids; behavioural experts have come to save the day”.
Being a parent we are crazy about our love towards kids and spend a lot of time hanging around them, ready to dive and give orders, help or protect (usually before it is necessary). But the children are an image of energy and vitality resulting an inexhaustible source of surprises and different entitled behaviour.
If we compare the two-dimensional era a tremendous disparity has envisioned about the rising of a child. This divergence raise because the kids in past decades were showing a very less percent of entitlement than the ratio we are having now. Parents today tend to be insecure because a modern child is very demanding. After all, we live in a state-of-the-art civilisation, where we seek immediate gratification with energetic flow of life. Even the technology immensely impact on every individual and society and plays a significant role in this part.
Do I want to see a cartoon? There is a YouTube. Do I want an electronic game? There is the AppStore. All easy, simple, immediate and all this creates an unrealistic expectation in the children about the possibility of getting what they want; when they want just to expect for the best life without rolling up their sleeves and crafting a gratitude free personality.
In this new era, we have fallen squarely in a style of parenting that involves the turning-out of our children and remained the centre of our attention, giving them everything what they want and when they want without any delay. Being a parents we are not apprehending to find a balancing point in raising the child to perform our duties. Thus, pampering the kids all the time and favour their wrong acts, instead of being punished are really feeding and nurturing the children in an Entitled and Me Centric beings approach, which in turn to a big hurdle for parents to cope up such situations in bringing up the kids. Aside from this kid’s better know that trembling nose, eyes filled with tears work better to fulfil their demands. But often becomes disgusting and disgraceful when a child attempts this drama in a public area.
To educate implies the use of authority to establish limits; give orders and prohibit the indispensable that allows the child to control their impulsiveness: every child is born selfish; she comes to respect the other through education, discipline, but, mainly, by the example of the parents. Children always identify with a parent and do what this adult does (e.g., the girl dresses up as the mother). When children are small, parents always decide “what”, “how” and “when”; that is, they have full powers over their children and by them make the decisions they deem correct. The child lives comfortably and pleasurable in this dependency relationship, with their basic needs met and roles clearly defined. But when the children reach the stage of adolescence, a series of conflicts arise between parents and children in most families!
Obviously, this the parent-child relationship goes beyond the limits of what is considered psychologically healthy. In fact, these parents know limits, neither of age, nor of social status: that they can come to recriminate to the teachers by the bad notes of their children, although these already are in the university, or they can even accompany them to the interview of work and they get angry if the interviewer does not allow them to enter during the test.
Know how to avoid it
Having children entitled epidemic is the nightmare of all parents: yet often, even unwittingly, we find ourselves faced with irresponsible and capricious little children. Where are you wrong? Can you serve some “no” more? Here are some educational strategies to avoid growing the entitled one. In fact, most problems in the relationship between parents and children are based on a conflict of power! Parents can exercise an authoritarianism (when power is in their hands) to meet their own needs, or make use of permissiveness when they delegate power in the hands of their children to do whatever they wish. The most important in this type of relationship is a joint resolution; seek together and create conciliatory solutions so that everyone is well served (where my needs are as important as yours). The greatest role of parents is to always support, understand and dialogue with their children!
Determine your rules
Even if it must break your heart, it is up to you parent to impose your own rules and make them follow it. Ultimately, it’s up to you to make a final decision whether or not to buy this gift for your child, not the other way around. This advice is valid in all areas because your child learns to respect a framework that will necessarily be imposed on him/her in their future life. Whatever your decision, positive or negative, it must come from you to have an effect on your younger one. The family should always support their children in everything they do, as long as they are reasonable things (within the family rules), and it is they who promote a sense of security to their children. Family is a maternal cell of society and place where psychic structures develop, where child forms identity and develops emotionally. Family determines roles and hierarchy among its members; it is also the social space of confrontation of generations and where the two sexes (male and female) define their differences and relations of power. The family’s function is to educate the children and prepare them for social interaction.
Learn to say NO
Parents often raising a big mistake of being too permissive and cooperative all the time while raising their kids. A good parent, in fact, must be able to say NO to their children and show them what’s right and what’s wrong. This is a very sophisticated educational rule: if you cannot put it into practice, you will grow without a shadow of a doubt, moreover, entitled identity used to have everything and immediately and unable to accept the limits and manage the frustrations.
Explain without justification
Short but justified explanation with “NO” help kids transmit your values. It’s important for him/her to understand why you’re refusing today to buy this gift, explaining the reasons, but not justifying yourself for hours. This decision belongs to you and even if your child finds it unfair, then he /she must have to accept it and especially understand this aspect.
Give them alternatives
Enforcing the rules is not easy as it seems. Usually, it is very effective trick to give an alternative to the child. For example, propose another game to the one too dangerous that your child would like to do: and, in all circumstances that make it possible, try to offer a more appropriate alternative to your child’s requests.
Ask for kid’s motivation
In the store, your child is appealed from all sides, it is normal that he /she is tempted. Think of him/her as a big man and let him/ her talk to know why he /she wants this toy so much. When to say no to him .her? When you have an impression that just wants to satisfy an immediate need. If a kid does not seem very convinced or lacks argument, your child would quickly find another fad!
Spend more time with your children
Your valuable time to your children means a lot, discussing the views, dreams and planning activities with your children makes them involved and keeping you in your kid’s best behavioural knowledge that they are adopting. Even if you are very busy with work, always try to cut out moments just for the sake of your children. They will be more serene and you will not feel guilty, with less risk of giving in to the whims!
Empowering the child
Empowering the child, entrusting him /her with small tasks suited to his /her abilities, is another excellent antidote to the formation of a passive and spoiled character.
Show them the real pleasures of life
In life, there are not only gifts! Teach your child that there are 1000s and a few pleasures in life that are worth more than an umpteenth small car. Encourage moments spent together where your child opens his mind by offering him an alternative to a toy.
Make the whole year happy
We tend to spoil the child at Christmas and birthday because this is a good opportunity and time to fulfil their wishes and wants, but what about the rest of year? You can offer with gifts but always explain to them why (good grades, wisdom, etc.). Be careful not to buy him/her what he /she asks without an explanation: it must not become a habit either.
You must not be afraid: for your children, you are a superhero, even if something is missing. The only thing that should never be missing is affection. Remember that removing the rules does not replace a parent present. And that covering them with presents will not fill the absence. So, dedicate yourself to children, a little more, even if it means having a little less. In fact, make sure that you are satisfied with as little as possible: you will make them independent and happy.